Amy's Choice: what twenty minutes looks like
by MyGoldenGlow
Summary: Yeah, your basic memory wipe job, must have erased about twenty minutes." "But why would I choose the 'Forget?"..."Because you knew if we stayed here I'd be faced with an impossible choice. Humanity or the alien." Spoilers for 5x02


**Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who (yet! I have world domination on my to-do list, and then we'll see who owns the bbc :) )**

**So - little secret. it took me until episode three to realize why the last shot of The Beast Below was a glowing line. I sat there watching it going "there's got to be a reason they're hovering on a glowy line, but I just don't understand it." and finally, at the end of this new episode, I realized "OHHHH - cracks in time!"....yeah...no one said I was quick on the uptake :)**

**Enjoy! Spoilers for The Beast Below**

**Summary: Amy has to decide - Starship UK, or Starwhale?  
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She is going to be sick. Going to be sick, sick, sick, sick. The only thought in her brain – the only conscious, waking thing she can hold onto. Sick, sick, sick. She's going to be sick because her people are sick. Sick and twisted with a side of cold calculating cruelty. God – how could they! Do that to something so beautiful, so innocent, so trusting? Why – no, she can't think about. She musn't think about it.

What should she do? She can't forget – no, she can't just ignore what is going on. Her stomach rolls and she chokes, but the last thing she had to eat was a piece of toast hours before she went to bed – there is nothing in her stomach. Still, it takes her a lot of effort to stop retching and start thinking. Sick, sick, sick.

Her fingers hover over the buttons. The phrase "Make Your Choice" is frozen on the screen. Why? Why her, when she only wanted to fulfill a childhood dream of seeing the stars? Why couldn't they have just left the poor creature alone?

Protest – she has to protest. She certainly can't agree and enjoy her time on the ship la-di-da while an innocent creature is being TORTURED. Her hand moves and she raises a fist, set to slam down hard on the button when she freezes – a horrible thought sneaking into her brain.

She should protest. She really, really should. But what next? If she pushes that button, what happens? Not to her, specifically – although, come to think of it, if even one person protested and was let out, wouldn't they tell the whole community immediately? Which means that anyone who protested most definitely did not return to civilization. Oh God, that means that every single smiling person she saw today had voted yes. They had agreed to this horrible, disgusting atrocity. She shakes her head to clear her mind. She isn't very worried about what will happen to her. More importantly, what will happen to her raggedy Doctor?

He'll go looking for her – of course he will. He came back after fourteen years, why wouldn't he check up on her after half an hour? And then what will he find? Certainly not her – if they even let her live, she'll at least be locked away from the rest of the "world" until she dies of natural causes. So if he doesn't find her, what will he find? An empty room. An empty room with a television screen that will play for him the same horror reel that she has just watched. (not again – sick, oh god she's going to be sick) And when he watches that terrifying, disgusting, vile film clip, he'll be forced to vote. Just like she's voting right now. He'll know the terrible secret she knows and he'll have to choose – to decide between the lives of an entire race of people, and the life of a starwhale. An innocent, precious creature. The last of his kind.

She can't let that happen. Not to him, who promised her magic and adventure and wonder all of her days. He saved the world in under twenty minutes. His ship blew up and he took pleasure trips to the moon. She wouldn't wish this choice on her worst enemy, let alone her dearest friend. And he already has the weight of the world on his shoulders. She sobs in frustration – why? Why make the impossible decision fall to her? What does she know? She's a kissogram – it's not as if she's ever been faced with deep moral and ethical questions.

She wants to free the starwhale. More than anything – but not more than she wants to keep her Doctor safe. He is wonder and laughter and boundless energy, and she can't bear to burden him with the horrifying thing she must do. Her fingers twitch towards the "Forget" button.

A message flashes on the screen, "Do you want to record a message? If your message contains any information contained inside the video, it will not be played and you will be punished. If you do not wish to record a message, please push 'Forget'. If you do, please select 'Record'."

She blinks in confusion. Why would she want to record a message? Oh – _ohh._ Because she won't remember this. She'll stay on board the ship and laugh and giggle and if she's right, the Doctor is already suspicious and he'll find out the truth on her own. She swallows the lump in her throat and moves her finger over to press "Record". She has to tell herself – she needs to get out of here. Out of this horrible ship with the sides pressing in on her – sides built from torture and pain and despair. God she's going to be sick.

"Recording," chimes the computer.

"Listen to me, this isn't a trick, this is for real. You've got to find the Doctor and get him back to the TARDIS. Don't let him investigate, stop him, do whatever you have to, just please, please get the Doctor off this ship!" she chokes on her own tears as the message cuts off.

"Make Your Choice" reappears on the screen. Shaking and sobbing, still not understanding how she can be making this decision, she wipes at her eyes.

She reaches out a trembling hand, and chooses "Forget".

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